PMS: We Aren’t Crazy … literally this JUST SUCKS.

So PMS, what a funny word to describe the monthly mood swings some women get just before Aunt Flo stops by for a visit.  Now from what I’ve noticed about most men is, when it comes to periods and PMS they have absolutely no idea what it entails. All they think half the time is that we are being irrational and using it as an excuse to be a psycho for the next 3-7 days. Well fellas that is sooooo not the case. There are so many variables that come not only with the PMS but also the period itself. Now since I’m an open book and felt the need to shed some light on the topic, here is a list of what actually happens to most women, including myself, during that lovely time of the month.

Men’s assumption of what your period/PMS time looks like “The monthly devil that comes out, with no explanation what so ever.”

Well I will be the first to say that there is so much more that goes into our monthly cycle than you think; and I will be the first to stand up and say “Give me a damn break!”

Women’s actual time frame looks like “A monthly cylce with emotional rollercoaster’s, horniness, eating literally your whole body weight in food, unexpected crying, unexpected anger, really nice hair, acne, feeling somewhat hot during this (super rare occasion after your period/ during ovulation) when in fact you’re bleeding out of your vagina, bloating, nausea, headaches, back-aches,  sometimes excruciating cramps, and just feeling like utter shit for however long Aunt Flo wants to fucking stay that month.”

So the whole reason I wanted to talk about this, as I”m sure you sensed in the “Men assumptions” section, is yes I was talking to a male friend of mine who basically shit on the fact that it’s not excusable for a woman to be moody during this time. At one point I was like, hold the fucking phone dude, do you bleed out of your dick hole? No? Oh okay go on with your theories while I sit back and laugh at your lack of knowledge in this department. Being somewhat heated with this conversation I was like “Okay that’s it I need to shed some light on you before you just dig yourself an even bigger hole.”

So PMS, also known as the premenstrual syndrome….is I would say about a week and a half long process. Give or take, this varies with each female as no reproductive system works the same. Pms happens a few days before she actually starts her cycle; these symptoms include headaches, bloating (which are the absolute worst), tender breasts, cramps and the highlight of all of this beautiful few days, the mood swings. But not all women get these symptoms, and some even have it worse in some areas than others.

So for instance, when I’m about to start I notice that I start to eat way more then I usually do, and I absolutely love food so I’m eating all the time. But during my period or right before I literally am eating like a baby dinosaur. The sad thing is is that it’s just a bottomless pit for me, I can eat eat and eat and I just don’t feel full. Another symptom that I get is random crying, and this usually stems from the main symptom I get which is over analyzing my entire life. This including work, friends, the person I’m dating, literally everything. Each month is different too, I can either get super emotional and take everything up the ass, or I can go the other way and be a complete dick head to all the people I love. In other words at times I’m that stereotypical psycho path that men think we act like during this time. HAHA


If you ever want to piss off a girl on her period it’s saying “What’s wrong with you today, are you on your period.” That will get you a one way ticket to GO FUCK YOURSELF YES I AM WHAT ABOUT IT YOU ASS HOLE. Clearly she wont say this to your face, buuuuut in some cases she might. You never know. I don’t want to say we are loose canons during this time, but fuck man we are in a sensitive spot. To top it off this happens ever month, and according to some people we are supposed to keep it together.

Oh I’m sorry that I am upset, I’m sorry that my body constantly wants me to have a baby. So my uterus takes it upon herself to make this beautiful home for said kid, but if by some miracle you don’t have one, she flips her shit and starts throwing all of it out. And where do you think it all comes out ?? Yep your vagina… soooooo before you decide to ask your lady why shes in a bad mood for “no reason,” I’d approach it with “Hey baby, are you okay is something wrong can I get you something.”More or less that will get you from getting your head bitten off and make your lady more at ease, because lets face it this shit sometimes gets embarrassing.

I mean sympathize with us a little please, we are in a state where our abdominal area feels like it’s going to explode, silly bubble gum commercials make us cry (maybe that’s just me) and we feel like a beach whale. The least you can do is bring us a fucking cookie, a chick flick, maybe some shower sex and play with our god damn hair.

Okay, okay I’m dialing it down a bit… long story short, I think you get the gist of what I’m trying to say here. PMS and periods suck ass, yet we as woman have to suck it up and deal with it. I hope I’ve shed some light on the topic, especially for the fellas who think we just use this as an excuse to be irrationally crazy, no there is a little more to it then that.



Feel free to comment, add some stuff, tell me what I’ve missed, I always like feedback and thanks for reading 🙂